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Why it is important to LOVE yourself (A story of my personal journey)

Yesterday a friend from college posted pictures of a bunch of us. For some reason, seeing that picture immediately took me back to that time and I remembered how I used to feel about myself back then. I stared at the picture and my eyes began to swell up looking at the beautiful girl that has no idea just how beautiful she is. I studied the seating arrangement between me and the other girls. They are all gathered around smiling and posing for the picture and I am seated above them trying to kind of strike a pose but really just feeling out of place.

I remembered how I always felt out of place and like I never quite fit in anywhere. I looked at this young lady in the picture and thought about all the times she used to dream and wish that she was someone else. She didn't understand why her. She wanted to be thin and pretty. I remembered  the times just wishing I could just die, I hated being ME.

This hatred for myself also shined its ugly head upon the world. I was miserable and very unhappy and the world knew it. I acted out because I didn't know what else to do with this anger. I was sad and depressed. Although I wore a smile on the outside, the inside was so unhappy and full of hate (for myself).

I used to look at my mother and think "wow, she's so pretty, so what happened to me". Here's the funny thing, I always knew I was cute and pretty but when your overweight you feel that everything about you is unattractive.

Years after graduating from college and having my son, I started a journey to find out how to love myself and deal with what I was born with. I knew I could lose the weight and already had lost a good amount of it. BUT that attitude was not going anywhere until I dealt with it, confronted it, and decided that I wanted to be a better person. The journey has not been easy as a matter of fact it has been downright hard.

I started by realizing that I am pretty (on the outside) but the inside is a MESS!!! And that no matter how pretty I am on the outside that it must come from within and that is when your TRUE beauty begins to shine. I started reading a lot. I read all of Iyanla Vanzant books and Maya Angelou. I decided that I wanted to be empowered within myself and I needed to fill my mind with that energy.

I am still on my journey and probably will until I leave this body. I align myself with positive people and those that I know truly care for me. My circle is small now but it's okay because I realize that
I don't need a lot of people. I just need people that love me and want to help me continue to be a better person.

No one asked that young lady in the picture how she felt, why was she so sad, or why was she so angry. As a matter of fact no one ever asked me those questions until GOD put someone in my life that truly loved me, wanted the best for me and from me and he asked those questions. You see, although I had started my journey before him, I had yet to really look deep within my life for the answers. I think I kind of thought that I just needed to focus on the now and try to change that part of my life. Well...if you ask GOD he will deliver. So for the first time in my life, I had to ponder over past pain and hurt and deal with some childhood issues. It hurt. It hurts now to write this BUT you have to confront issues and then forgive those that have hurt you and forgive yourself. Then you can begin your journey to a healthy you.

THANK YOU MR. HOLLINGS. For allowing GOD to use you to be the blessing I didn't know I needed.

If only that young girl knew then what she knows now!!!

WOW!!! We had so much fun last night!!! The night was a huge success. The ladies received free facials and learned how to properly apply makeup. They taste tested samples of Vi shakes and cereal. Leila Spivey informed the ladies and educated them about living a healthier lifestyle. AND, they were able to sample products from Cloud 9 and touch the toys to feel the different vibrating effects.

The food was awesome and we had plenty of mixed drinks to accommodate everyone's personal preference. It was a BLAST!!!

If you missed it don't worry, we will be hosting another one soon. Stay tuned and keeping checking my blog for updates and upcoming events.

If you are interested in purchasing the Vi shakes please click on the link below.
www.khollings.bodybyvi.com

We are looking for other independent vendors to join our Empowerment Parties. If you're interested please leave a message in the comments section or send me an email.

Today's the day and I hope to see there!!! The Women's Empowerment Party!!!!

FUN, FUN, FUN

Women's Empowerment Party coming March 1st

Please RSVP and come out and enjoy the 1st Women's Empowerment Party!!! Hope to see you there!!!

Has reality TV gone too far?

It is no surprise that reality TV has become the new genre for entertainment television but has reality TV gone too far? Many would say that reality TV is a poor representation of people but especially women and more specifically black women. I do not disagree with this analogy. A lot of reality TV shows have begun to display acts of violence and use of inappropriate language. Maybe this is for ratings because it does seem to draw people in and have them coming back each week for more and more. What does this say about our society and the next generation? Do we love to see other people acting poorly? Are we obsessed with drama? Have we become numb to violence and are willing to accept it in certain scenarios? Do we no longer care about the images our children see on television? Although, I feel like there is truth in each of those questions, I also feel that some of us watch these shows with a grain of salt and take them for what they are meant to be - Entertainment. I heard K-Michelle of Love N Hip HOP Atlanta on the radio the other day and she made a very valid point. She was asked if she felt she was a role model for young girls and she said that these shows should not be raising our children. I agree. I think that some people are too critical of the people in these shows as far as expecting them to be role models for our children. I personally feel like it is up to each individual to control what their children can watch on TV and when. I am the mother of a young, impressionable girl. I love reality TV but I don't allow my daughter to watch certain shows and that's not just reality TV. Although, I love my reality TV there is a limit of what I will watch as well. There are certain shows that are extremely violent and I won't watch these. When Evelyn Lozada from Basketball wives became extremely violent by throwing a bottle at a lady, I declared that I would not watch the show anymore because that crossed the line and I felt that she may have needed some therapy. I am an old school girl and I still prefer sitcoms and primetime television. I will continue to watch certain reality TV shows because I enjoy the entertainment of them. Give me your feedback!!!

My continuation of the Trayvon Martin case

I am watching Pierce Morgan tonight and he has Mike Tyson on the show. He's asking him his opinion on the Trayvon case....Really - Mike Tyson - this is the guy that has a tatoo across his face...how much can he contribute to the cause??? Pierce asks him if thinks Zimmmerman should have been arrested that night and he says "Well, I don't know" ...with that lisp that he has. I was watching this and I was floored because I think he should have been arrested and then the investigation should have begun. Isn't that how it usually happens? You're arrested and then questions are asked. Mike Tyson sounded really uneducated on the facts that we know so far. I understand that we still do not know the entire facts but my problem with this whole situation is that there was not an immediate arrest. We all agree that someone is dead...possibly murdered but yet we are still wondering what really happened. Mike kept saying "I don't know" as Pierce kept asking questions about this case. I know that justice has not been served. I know that we still do not know all the facts. I know that a child is dead and a man is free. I also know that this man appears to be without scars or bruises but says that it was self-defense. I also know that at the end of the day...he was TOLD by a 911 operator to stop pursuit and let police handle it??? You tell me...What do you know??? Come on Mike - REALLY???